SMUT!

Today's smut is corn smut and plant smut. I'm sure it has a practical and serious meaning, but bear with me for a moment. I have read far too much structuralism and linguistics in the last two days and I'm this close to pulling out my hair. But Claude Levi-Strauss was talking about corn smut! And the first thing I thought of was (and this especially for the creator of our sister blog) medieval sort of people somehow sticking pieces of uncooked corn to paper, gluing them in the shape of dirty pictures. It would be like those people running around Guild Wars during the Halloween festivities, but only regular corn and not candy corn. And in pornographic poses.

Too much structure and the world goes mad. Ha ha ha...

Misplaced Romance Novel Cover Alert

Today I am speaking about Tom Hollander, a man from Gosford Park, Pirates of the Carribean, Pride and Prejudice, Masterpiece Theatre concerning early 20th century British kings, etc., and apparently two episodes of Absolutely Fabulous called The Last Shout, Parts 1 and 2. These episodes are over ten years old. However! If anyone would like to see a potential male figure on the front of a romance novel, you will go to YouTube and search for Absolutely Fabulous The Last Shout--especially after he takes his shirt off. His character's name is Paolo, and he gets engaged to Saffy. He also plays kind of a jerk, just like in Pirates of the Caribbean. That is beside the point though. In the 90s, this man had the kind of hair that would kick Fabio into a gutter. He may be a bit on the shorter side and has a lot less hair now judging by the most recent movie I saw him in, but in the 90s (or at least this episode of AbFab) this man's hair alone would have put him in line for a Harlequin photo shoot. Generally speaking, he's handsome enough, and looks rather good in a hat but they always seem to stand him next to people who are over six feet tall, which makes him seem kind of short. But he's around 5'5 apparently so not actually that short.

But the next time you need a man looking windblown without his shirt on--look at The Last Shout!

Stephen Fry

Stephen Fry, who is a terribly clever, amusing man... might leave Twitter?! Or... might have done on Saturday until he forgave the fellow who called him boring. Does the BBC really need to write emergency articles about Stephen Fry potentially leaving Twitter? It's Twitter, for feck's sake. He's not going to stop writing books or start acting like a cretin or something. Oh, the busybodying of the press. How far back it must go.

Then again...

Just look at what American TV will do to you.

(P.S. All in good fun--I adore both Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.)

So, I Walked Into November...

Said the Ugly Pumpkin. It's November!

It's moving! That is to say time, not Big Ben. That would be a big clock roaming London, which would be... a bit weirder. I guess?

Bloody Nora

Or, rather, a German Nora. In my discussion section. Who, in a discoursive reverse, contributes rather smarmy intelligent comments that veer off topic instead of contributing things that are of little or no importance to what we're discussing. However, the effect on the professor is the same! Where J.T. simply ignored her (sometimes in excessive of 20 minutes while Nora kept her hand up), A.S. also ignores the German Nora but will directly ask if his point is going to be relevant--at which point, German Nora sometimes says, "No." Ignoring (as my professors have done) the implications of their veering, I wish I had a quarter of their self-confidence! More the German Nora's perhaps because he comes across as more intelligent. I do not want to be the person telling everyone how I would have sex with Shakespeare if time travel were possible (yes, the original Nora announced this to a whole class). Below is the sort of Shakespeare trawling for women in the 20th/21st century. He says, "Do mine eyes deceive me? Wenches galore!"

Anyways, I'm sure that's violating some kind of "no using time travel for sexual harassment" law. That must be one of them--to, for example, prevent someone from going back in time strictly for the purpose of having a harem. Because where would it end? Everyone would be in the past, leaving the present full of a few Lovecraft-esque people who aren't interested in that kind of thing. And the poor, of course. Although my fellow Twilight Zone fans know what happens when someone goes back in time for personal gain (generally, you end up minus one soul and plus one Satan laughing maniacally as he leaves you a sad, broken man/woman). So, bloody... bloody Noras. Irritating professors round the globe, and making invisible people such as myself even more invisible.

Final rating: the sound of one hand clapping.

P.S.

In light of recent comments, I would just like to say that this:

The so-called "skull with angel wings" is not a Christian symbol just because there are wings on the skull. It is a symbol that anyone can and has used that signifies the flight of the soul.

In the same way, this:

A winged hourglass is not an exclusively Christian symbol. Sticking "angel" wings on something does not automatically make it Christian. Thank you!

Months and Months Away from a Computer

All rather like a dreary prison. Except those two weeks in the basement of my aunt's house watching CSI. Now that was a good time.

We regret to inform any readers that this blog is on strike--possibly even permanent dissolution--because our sister blog has fallen VERY far behind, and may be abandoned all together.