Time for Another Proclamation

To the wilds of the internet, I do NOT write like bloody Stephen King. I tried to get through one of his novels and found it to be absolute dreck to my tastes. To be extremely narcissistic, I sometimes quite enjoy my own work. So, no matter what any text analysis suggests, I do NOT write like Stephen King. Some people would say, 'Oh, that's great,' but I would rather write like bloody Mark Twain. Bloody bloody bloody.